


Not Quite There

by takaraikarin



Category: 30 Seconds to Mars, Bandom, The Used
Genre: Angst, General Mushiness, M/M, Sexual Content, Tour Bus Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-08
Updated: 2013-04-08
Packaged: 2017-12-07 18:54:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/751880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takaraikarin/pseuds/takaraikarin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He convinced you that having him taking control of you is something you’ve been dreamed of all your life. That was what most people that had came into his bed –or couches, or toilet stalls- ended up believing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Quite There

**Title:** Not Quite  
 **Author:** Takarai Karin  
 **Fandom:** The Used/30 Seconds to Mars  
 **Pairing:** Jared Leto/Jeph Howard, with hints of: Brendan Steineckert/Jeph Howard  
 **Rating:** PG-15  
 **Disclaimer:** I don’t own any of these real people, they belong to themselves. This is a fictional work made by a fan and is not meant to be offensive.

  
_This glass house is burning down_  
You light the match, I’ll stick around  
I’ll give you everything you want  
And wish the worst of what I was 

_And tonight won’t make a difference…._

Jeph writhed under the impious attention lavished onto his neck, squirmed under the steady grip around his waist. The touches were forceful and not-quite-there, almost like the presence of the man himself, and it reminded Jeph too much of a different pair of eyes altogether that amidst the lusts fogging his brain he had a distant urge to puke.

He was about to raise his back off the couch –for levering, if nothing else- but the other man pinned him back down with his steady hands and a cocksure stare.

‘Easy there, Jepha,’ came Jared’s low baritone, spoken with his lips against his ear-shell, his breath moistening the soft skin there. And when he pulled back there was a knowing smirk on his lips. This is what Jared does to you with his eyes- he disarmed you, and he knows damn well that you don’t really wanna leave, knows damn well that you want to be in his mercy after all.

He convinced you that having him taking control of you is something you’ve been dreamed of all your life. That was what most people that had came into his bed –or couches, or toilet stalls- ended up believing.

Except Jepha isn’t most people, and while –like the rest of the crowd- he also came when Jared beckoned, he expected something _else_ from him. He wanted him to be better _than_.

 _‘Not that he’s aware of it himself,’_ Jared thought as he finally lowered his whole weight on the other man’s body. He’d been holding back doing that for quite a while now, because Jeph’s fluttery and squeamish like wild horses, like he’s been left too long as a wallflower, unsure of what to do with attention.

Usually Jared has little patience for awkwardness and timidity. Usually he’d leave them be or just forcefully show them what they really want, what they refuse to admit to themselves, telling them to stop acting like it was their first casual sex and just swallow.

But those people didn’t catch his eyes the way Jeph did. There was everything poetic about the unshed heartache in his eyes, and how they shone on stage as they looked around for something that wasn’t quite there. He still stood leaning away from the audience in shows, still inclining towards the drumset even if he did it with his eyes closed, like he knew he wouldn’t like what he’d see when he opened them. He'd be lokking at Shannon if he did that, and he's not quite what he's looking for now, is he?

Jared knew what –who- the other man was unconsciously comparing him to, and he’s rather reluctant to lose.

It was with that thought in mind that he –after minutes of groping and teasing- finally captured his lips in between his own.

Jeph was surprised with the sudden contact of lips –it was not yet a kiss, Jared was just sucking at his lower lip and licking the corner of his mouth- but Jared’s eyes were clear and deceptively innocent and _so close_ , and they’re like sedatives for his reticence. And despite how he knew that Jared was anything but safety, and that if he ever whisper ‘you can trust me’, that would mean ‘trust me to corrupt you’, despite all that, he still found himself opening his mouth for Jared to do as he please.

He still has a –persistent, distracting- lingering image inside his peripheral vision, like a wavering illusion on a smoldering day that he knew would just disappear when he turned around, everything from the safe blackness to the refuge to _home_.

He wanted to forget all about losing home, and he thought perhaps the hands that were currently claiming everything in his person could wipe it all away.

Jared was actually too smooth for what Jeph was accustomed to. His hands too experienced, like he knew exactly what to do with narrow hips and flat chests. Jeph realized too late how his hips bucked upward at the feel of skilled fingers playing with his nipples, and Jared laughed at his surprised expression, breathy and playful.

There was no fear in his eyes. Jeph wasn’t familiar with that. There was also no shame, no quick glances behind their shoulders to make sure nobody was watching. Jeph was very used to being ashamed of these kind of situations that he's not quite sure what to do with Jared's confidence.

The other man was all about claiming, Jeph knew, and at the time Jeph was all about getting lost. And if that means he’d be forgetting himself in Jared’s cool strokes and his not quite kisses then so be it.

Jared smirked at the sharp gasps he drew out of the man below him before he bit his upturned chin. He’s certain that Jeph had no idea how delicious he looked right then with his resolved barely there and his desperation to lose it, but he sure as hell admired the view.

When they finally kissed, mouth in full contact with the other’s, Jeph shut his eyes tighter because it got too real right then, because it was not quite the kiss he’s used to receive. He realized that perhaps from now on he’d need to get used to these not quite similar kisses, need to just settle with things that weren’t quite right.

Jared was an expert in this territory, and when Jeph finally came all over the couch it was mind-blowing like what he’d expected. After that, they didn’t quite cuddle and Jeph thought it’s might as well, since cuddling would make it seem like it’s something right. And he knew very well he’d lost that the same time his best friend, that one single thing that was right with his life, left.

His hand stopped at the door handle before he could open it and dejectedly he wondered how fitting it was that he’s still not quite forgetting.

**Stop.**  



End file.
